Bride
Kidnapping. Benign Custom Or Savage Tradition?
By Burulai Pusurmankulova,
Junior
student of the Journalism Department, Jalalabad State University
June
15, 2004
Voice Of Freedom Initiative Of The Human Rights Working
Group
Facilitated By Freedom House
Bride Kidnapping (ala kachuu in Kyrgyz) in Kyrgyz society
is considered an old tradition that recently has been rapidly spreading.
Bride kidnapping is commonly perceived as an ancient national tradition, which
is especially popular in remote areas.
“Ala-kachuu is kidnapping of a woman for the
purpose of marriage. It includes various activities, from a secret escape with a
beloved one, an organized kidnapping for an agreed marriage to a forced or
nonconsensual abduction. Abduction refers to nonconsensual actions, which may
include rape and sometimes may even lead to death or suicide. Abduction is
usually performed by a young man and his friends, who by deceit or force brings
a young woman to the house of his parents or close relatives. A woman is kept in
the room, while the kidnapper’s female relatives talk her into wearing a
kerchief. If it is necessary they leave her inside for the night, sometimes it
ends with a rape and threatening a woman with shame since she is not pure
anymore,” –Doctor Russell Kleinbach, Masters Mehrigul Ablezova, and Medina
Aitieva, staff members of the American University – Central Asia say in their
research. (http://faculty.philau.edu/kleinbachr/2004_study1.htm).
The
results of this research show that “more than one third of ethnic Kyrgyz women
were married after a nonconsensual abduction and that this practice of abduction
has increased at least over the past half century.”
Neither
the authorities nor civil society take any proactive measures to stop to this
tradition.
What do those abducted say?
Practically all the stories about Bride
Kidnapping are similar to each other. Some victims simply throw a veil over
their destiny while others stand against the tradition and refuse to stay in a
new house. “Victims” have different fates. It is commonly perceived
that a kidnapped bride should stay and accept her destiny.
Occasionally parents of a kidnapped girl
encourage or force her to stay to avoid shame or judgment of their
relatives and neighbors. In this case the Mullah’s prayer provides a
stronger wedding bond than the stamp of the State registration of marriage in a
passport.
Aijamal A., 20, lives in the village of Sokutash
in the Jalalabad region. She said she was abducted for the purpose of
marriage in 2000. At that time she was a little over 16 years old.
“I was trying to leave. But they told me
to stay, referring to the tradition,” Aijamal said. Usually in such cases when
simple words do not help, old women put bread on the threshold and say: “Will
you dare to step over? You will never a have normal life after that.” Usually
it works. Many girls stay… Aijamal was not an exception.
“Bewildered, I agreed to that marriage. I am not sure what I feared when
I did it. I lived a year with my husband and then we got divorced.
There was simply no understanding between us. If he had not kidnapped me
back then, I might have found my significant other. Perhaps, I am to blame
for not thinking about my own destiny. I was so afraid of rumors”.
Jarkiniy O., 24, of Oogantalaa in the
Bazarkorgon region, was happier in her forced marriage. She met a young
man at a small party who kidnapped her two days later. “I didn’t think
of marrying him. I found out he had his eye set on me. He decided to
marry me, and therefore, kidnapped me. They took me to his parents’
house. Although I was protesting, they forced me to stay. Now our
marriage is happy. My husband cares a lot about our family, and we have
kids already”.
If a girl strongly refuses to stay in the
kidnapper’s or his relative’s house, her life will become unbearable, after
she returns to her parents. An unlucky groom and his relatives are ashamed
of the fact they failed to keep a girl in their house. As a result, they
will spread rumors about her being depraved. They may tell everyone they
did not let her into their family.
This is exactly what befell Aigul, 19, of
Karakol. June 6, 2003 will remain etched in her mind for good. This
is when her friend’s brother was trying to abduct her. “I came to my
friend’s place. I did not know her brother was going to kidnap me.
He was married before and had a child. Despite my attempts to stay in the
car, they dragged me out. I was weeping the whole day. The next
morning my relatives showed up. They told me they could not take me back
home, because it was dictated by the tradition. I felt like taking my own
life. I felt like hanging myself. The young man’s family became
livid with my obstinacy. Right before the consummation my parents came
down and took me back home.
Before that Aigul was dating a young man. And
now he does not believe that during the whole week she did not have sex with her
kidnapper. Everyone was looking at the girl with reproof.
What do young people think?
Many young girls say they are afraid of their
cloudy future. Any stranger who has his eye set on a girl may easily
abduct her. You never know who you may have to spend the rest of your life
with.
Malika Aidaralieva, a student of the Jalalabad
State University, says the tradition of bride kidnapping gives her the creeps.
“If I am kidnapped, I don’t think I will agree to get married. On the
other hand, if my parents speak in favor of that marriage, I won’t be able to
challenge their decision. I have this fear of Kyrgyz customs and
traditions.”
Guljan Kaldarbai kyzy, a student from Jalabad,
is finishing high school this year. She is going to continue her education
at a university. Guljan is strongly against the tradition of bride
kidnapping. “I do not understand why young men would kidnap girls.
It is the most heinous thing that a person can do. It speaks about their
bad manners. If I am kidnapped, I won’t care about this tradition.
I will never consent to get married.”
Interestingly enough, young men are quite
content with this tradition. Student Akyl Aitmamatov says it is the
easiest way to start a family. “When you get married, you have to go to
the girl’s father and bow before him. In this case, the expenses are
tremendous. Oftentimes, it is the most important reason why young men
kidnap girls. It is both interesting and money saving. What can a
kidnapped girl do? Of course, she’ll have to stay.”
Zamir Janybaev from the village of Kyzylbagysh
in the Suzak region thinks that you need the girl’s agreement before starting
a family. He also told that he had kidnapped his future wife. “But
we had a mutual agreement on it. I think it is wrong to kidnap girls
otherwise.”
What does the older generation think?
Naturally, if a girl does not know someone has
his eye set on her, her parents are as unaware of it. Oftentimes, the
abduction of their daughter is truly a bombshell to them.
Akmataly P., a resident of the Suzak region,
narrated what happened to his family. “My daughter was kidnapped.
What could I do about it? Scared of gossips, she agreed to get married.
Naturally, I did, too. But they’d better have married my daughter
according to the traditions.”
Tynym Shabotoeva, a lady from Jalalabad, says
that if a girl happens to get to a young man’s house, she has to stay there:
“If she crossed the threshold she has to stay. Otherwise, they will
curse her. She will be miserable all her life bearing this damnation.”
Her neighbor Sahiba Hojaeva retorted:
“If you ask me, bride kidnapping is a bad thing. It is great if young
people love one another and consent to get married. One should start a
family based on life circumstances. I think kidnapping a girl without
knowing each other is grim.”
Dilmurat Ajy Orozov, deputy chief of the Kyrgyz
Muslim Association and chief priest of the Jalalabad region, said that the Holy
Qur’an and Prophet Muhammad’s testaments talk about how to start a family:
“It says, ask the girl whether she wants it or not. If she laughs and
keeps silent, it means consent.”
Dilmurat Ajy Orozov also mentioned that bride
kidnapping is wrong, but our society is used to it. “Parents are to
blame for the spread of this tradition. They need to educate their
children and tell them that kidnapping has negative effects, too,” the priest
said.
Abdunazar Mamatislamov, a human rights program
coordinator with the public foundation Youth Group, says that not only is
bride kidnapping uncivilized, but it is also a human rights violation.
“We can clearly see the attitude of men toward women. And women in this
case are not able to protect their rights.”
What do authoritie
s think?
Nurpazyl Turapov, executive secretary of the
Kyzyltuu village council, is confident that bride kidnapping is a shame to
Kyrgyzstan. “No other nation upholds this tradition. We should
feel ashamed.”
The public official pointed out that after
living together for a few years a young family decides to officially register
their marriage. “But sometimes people have several kids, and yet their
marriage is not officially registered.”
Kidnapping is a serious stress to girls, which
has a significant impact on their mind. Lyubov Maksimenko, a psychologist
with the regional Center for Reproductive Health Protection, posed this
argument. “A kidnapped girl is perplexed and does not know what to do.
Sometimes such girls seek our assistance, which happens rarely, though.
Over the past five months only two girls visited our center. They were
kidnapped and did not want to stay with another family,” Ms. Maksimenko said.
Aisuluu Kannazarova, a doctor with the regional
AIDS Center, provided a medical background of the issue. Apart from
psychological problems, kidnapping may trigger other negative consequences,
sexually transmitted diseases being one of them.
“There are many young people who have sexually
transmitted diseases today. There are also those who are HIV-infected.
They may cause the spread of these diseases. I think young people can
start a family if they know about each other’s lifestyle and habits.
They should also have a desire to do this, which should be regulated by law,”
the doctor said.
Public Opinion
The Youth Development staff conducted a
survey among the citizens of the Jalalabad region to find out what they think
about bride kidnapping.
Overall, 300 respondents, aged 16-60, were
surveyed, including students, teachers, and ordinary villagers.
Why do young men start a family by kidnapping
brides? Here 27% of all respondents mentioned economic reasons. They
said it helps reduce marriage expenses. More than 34% of the respondents
think that young men steal those girls who do not agree to get married.
And about 25% of the respondents said it is very convenient when you have to
marry urgently.
The next question was, “How often do you hear
about bride kidnapping?” About 50% of the respondents said it happens
“very often,” 25% said it happens just “sometimes,” and the rest found
it difficult to answer this question.
35% of all respondents evinced
their positive attitude toward this tradition. The majority (52.3%) said
they disapproved of it.
Psychologists point out that if newlyweds did
not know each other before the wedding, their family is very likely to break up.
The majority of the population agrees with this argument. 56% of all
respondents think that bride kidnapping is the reason for divorces.
The respondents also gave other reasons why
families break up. 36% of them are confident mutual misunderstanding
causes divorces. This supports the argument that newlyweds did not know
the personality of their future spouse. This happens when a bride is
kidnapped and forced to get married.
Legislative
liability
Kyrgyzstan
has ratified a number of international norms, aimed at protection of human
rights and development of gender equality.
According to Article 16 of the Universal
Declaration of Human Rights, which was ratified by Kyrgyzstan, “marriage shall
be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses.”
Bride Kidnapping also violates Article 16
of the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against
Women, with accession by Kyrgyzstan in 1997, which says in part, “States
Parties shall take all appropriate measures to eliminate discrimination against
women in all matters relating to marriage and family relations and in particular
shall ensure, on a basis of equality of men and women:
(a) The same right to enter into marriage;
(b) The same right freely to choose a spouse and
to enter into marriage only with their free and full consent... ”
These actions violate Article 1 of the
Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women, which says: “For the
purposes of this Declaration, the term "violence against women" means
any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in,
physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering to women, including threats
of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in
public or in private life.”
The rights of women are protected not only by
international documents but also by local laws. The Kyrgyz Criminal Code
provides for liability when a woman is forced to enter into marriage. This
liability ranges from a twenty-thousand-som fine ($455) to 5 years in prison.
Article 8 of the Kyrgyz Republic Law of March
12, 2003 # 60 addresses “basic guarantees of gender equality,” and states,
“Behavior of people based on the norms of common law, traditions, and culture,
which contradicts the requirements of this Law, are regarded as barriers to
implementation of gender equality. Common law, traditions, and culture
that include elements of gender discrimination are not encouraged.”
However despite the fact that international
norms and local legislation prohibit any violation of freedom, bride kidnapping
and forcing women into marriage are widespread in Kyrgyzstan. In fact, no
one is prosecuted based on the aforementioned article of the domestic criminal
code. Parallel to this, the number of those held legally responsible for such
illegal actions is practically zero.
How to counteract this tradition
Murataly Uchkempirov, head of Youth
Development, thinks that bride kidnapping is rampant in southern Kyrgyzstan.
“Since this tradition is misinterpreted among young people, it is viewed as a
norm.”
“In the past, young people used to make this
step upon mutual agreement, trying to follow their ancient traditions.
Today this custom has elements of cruelty and violence to it. In most
cases, such families are not happy, which leads to their break-up. Our
organization is going to conduct a contest on bride kidnapping prevention
amongst high school and university students. The topics are the following:
The Best Drawing, The Best Story, and The Best Song.
Shortly, our organization will start
establishing special teams in major centers of the region, consisting of the
elders, women, and youth organizations. Their goal will be to combat bride
kidnapping and help young people in family planning.”
Baktykan Japarova, chief receptionist with Spravedlivost,
thinks that bride kidnapping is a highly relevant issue for the Kyrgyz youth:
“It is them [the youth] who should deal with this issue and fight for their
future.”
“Our society is not taking any measures to
prevent bride kidnapping. Don’t we have different youth campaigns
against drugs, AIDS, and other social problems? Why not initiate a
campaign against bride kidnapping? But I think it does not happen, because
our youth is so inactive and indifferent toward this issue,” Ms. Japarova
said.
She also pointed out that both the government
and our society should pay a great deal of attention to this issue and work
towards a strict rule of human rights and freedoms. “Consequently, we
should become a little more civilized.”
Conclusion
Certainly, starting a family is a bright and
remarkable event, but oftentimes marriages are not registered. Frequently,
girls have to sacrifice their happiness, and often the violation of their
rights, which are ensured by the state and are to be respected and protected.
Many such marriages break up in the future.
The Kyrgyz legislation provides for criminal
liability for bride kidnapping. However, the tradition is flourishing in
our society, and law enforcement bodies assert there are no such cases at all.
Neither preventative nor informational activities are conducted among the
population by officials. The government’s measures are confined to public
statements. Only non-governmental and international organizations have taken the
initiative of conducting prevention activities.
The names of some people have been changed to protect their identity.
Edited by Ulugbek Babakulov, Freedom House Media
Officer
Translated
from Russian into English by Freedom House Program Assistant, Alexander
Gryshchuk & Elena Surkina
Freedom House Human Rights Defender Support
Project is financed by the United States
Agency for International Development
