Bride Kidnapping: What Makes Women Stay

Abdulaeva Shirin, Arjomand Victoria, Tursunov Nariman

American University - Central Asia

30 June 30, 2004

 Introduction

Bride kidnapping, the act of abduction of a woman by a man, is apparently not only a Kyrgyz tradition (Amsler, Kleinbach, 1999). According to the records of  anthropologist Fannina Halle, it takes place in other regions such as Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan and the Caucasus too.  For example, in the Caucusus the Cherkess also kidnap women in almost the same manner as the Kyrgyz.

If, for instance, a Kabard… resolved to marry a girl whom he had already chosen, the typical plan of campaign for the capture was devised. He assembled his friends, armed and mounted like himself, and went with them to a place where the girls was bound to pass on the way to the well, or elsewhere. There he remained in hiding until the girl of his choice came in sight. The man then swung her on to his saddle with a firm grip and the booty was carried to his relatives or friends in a wild gallop. If the bitterly offended parents of the bride did not immediately give chase- and that was seldom of much use- the bride’s whereabouts were kept secret until mutual negotiations led to an agreement (1938).

Another evidence which shows that bride kidnapping is not merely a Kyrgyz tradition is found in the records of Cynthia Werner who asserts that 80% of marriages in southern Kazakhstan in the late 1990s  happened as a result of abduction of women (1997).

For our research we concentrated on Kyrgyzstan, and tried to study the resurgence of this tradition after the collapse of the Soviet Union. It was apparent that bride kidnapping was viewed by many Kyrgyz as a revival of Kyrgyz identity and traditions (Handrahan, 2004). In fact, according to statistics, around 51% of the Kyrgyz women between the ages of 20 – 60 consider that there is nothing wrong with this practice (Osmonalieva, 2003).  We were especially interested in non-consensual kidnappings.  We wanted to find out what were the reasons that made women stay with their abductors after being kidnapped, and whether this union lasted or not. .

In Petr Lom’s film about non-consensual kidnappings in Kyrgyzstan, a 26 year old woman is shown who never thought she would marry the person who abducted her. She resisted and tried to leave the house she was brought to. The elder women of the house tried to persuade her to stay. For this purpose they  used the wide spread stereotypes of the community, such as facts like she was 26 and no one would marry her anyway.  They also tried to convince her to stay by stating that kidnapping was an accepted way for a woman to get married in their community. They explained how they themselves had been abducted and were still living happily with their husbands.  After a while she was persuaded and put on a scarf which signified that she had agreed to stay.  The next shot showed her at a later date, living with her husband relatively happy. What is interesting is that the wife mentions that she did not have any other choice but to stay and eventually love her husband. She stereotypes the life of girls in the community – that they have to accept their destiny and marry the one chosen for them by others, forgetting the one they may have loved.

In our research we were interested  in how much this kind of attitude demonstrated by the hero of Peter Lom’s film is wide spread among other women who are kidnapped against their wishes. What influences their act of staying in the would-be husbands’ house.

We made a hypothesis that when a woman is kidnapped against her wishes, her family and the society expect her to stay due to social, cultural and traditional norms. However the husband’s family’s acceptance of the bride decides whether their marriage lasts or not. 

Method 

For doing our research about bride kidnapping, our group chose three sources to get information. These were interviews, primary literature available at the East West Center for Research and Dialogue in the AUCA and the video film about bride kidnapping by Petr Lom. To verify our hypothesis we used information obtained during the interviews conducted by the members of the research group. Ethical codes were taken into consideration and were followed by the interviewers. The interviews were tape-recorded. Prior to that, interviewers informed all the respondents about the purpose of the interview, and all interviews took place with the agreement of all those interviewed. 

Main characteristics of participants 

Six randomly selected respondents participated in interviews. Our samples were all women who were kidnapped against their wills.  They had all been kidnapped between the ages of 18-22. Most of them were women whose non-consensual marriages led to a divorce. Some of them either ran away from their husband or divorced after a few months. In two cases, the kidnapped women’s relatives were interviewed because either the victim had committed suicide, or she was not available for the interview.  Geographically, the women were from Batken, Osh, Balykchy and Naryn regions of the Kyrgyz Republic. Majority of those interviewed are still unmarried.  They are all working and able to support themselves.  

Four of the interviews were conducted in the Osh bazaar. All of them were randomly selected.  They are all self-employed, and have migrated to Bishkek from the south.  One of the respondents is a school teacher. She also ran away from her husband after seven years of living with him.  Although she is originally from Naryn, she also lives in Bishkek now.  She is still unmarried and has two kids.  The only person who is still married after being abducted is a lady from Balykchy.      

Results

On the basis of our interviews, out of the six people interviewed, four of them had been divorced within the first few years of their abduction. One committed suicide and only one is still with her husband.  In all of these cases, the women were made to stay with their abductors due to pressure  from their families and the fear of being ostracized from society if they returned, and not being able to find a husband. In one case the woman said that when she was abducted her first thought was that she was going to be killed, so when she found out that instead she was going to be married she gladly accepted this ‘better option’.

In almost all of the cases the women expressed that the reason they left their husbands was that they were either unhappy with their husbands and could not get along well with them, or that even if the husband was alright, it was the boy’s family, and in particular the mother-in-law, that made life unbearable for them.  This was especially true if the husband had kidnapped the girl contrary to his parent’s wishes, or as a measure of avoiding a match that they had for him.  In these cases the marriage not only did not last long, but left very negative scars on the girl’s minds, to the extent that after so many years of being divorced, hardly any of them had been re-married.  Thus, our hypothesis that the boy’s family’s acceptance of the bride determined whether she stayed with her husband or not was confirmed.

 Discussion 

Due to the shortage of time, the women interviewed for our research were all chosen from the capital city, Bishkek.  Although geographically they came from various parts of Kyrgyzstan, but there is a good possibility that they came to the capital because it is easier here to get job for a single, divorced lady.  So, although our research shows that in 83% of the cases (5 out of 6 participants) the marriage ended in divorce, the fact that our interviewees are all from an urban area is a limitation of our research.  Statistics from a research conducted by Russell Kleinbach and Turganbubu Orunbaeva in rural areas tend to show that 94% of the women abducted stayed with their husbands (Kleinbach, 2004).  

Reference: 

Amsler, S., Kleinbach, R. (1999). Bride kidnapping in the Kyrgyz Republic. International 

    Journal of Central Asian Studies, 4. (pp. 185 –216).      

Halle, F. (1938). Women in the Soviet East. Translated from the German by Margaret M.

    Green, (pp. 92). New York: E. P. Dutton and Co., Inc.

Handrahan, L. (2004). Hunting for Women: Bride Kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan. International 

    Feminist Journal of Politics, 6, (pp. 207-233).

Kleinbach, R., Orunbaeva, T. (2004)

     Available at http://faculty.philau.edu/kleinbachr/ala_kachuu.htm

Lom, P.  (2004). Ala Kachuu: Documentary Film, R. Kleinbach (Ed.)

     Available at http://faculty.philau.edu/kleinbachr/films.htm

Osmonalieva, R. (2003). Jenshiny Kyrgyzstana: Vchera I Segondnya (pp. 51). Bishkek:

     Prosveshenie. 

Werner,C. (1997). Marriage, markets, and merchants: changes in wedding feasts and 

     household consumption in patterns in rural Kazakhstan. Culture & Agriculture, 19, ½.,

     (pp. 6-13).